“All I can do is keep breathing”

b-R-o-K-e-N 101

Snapshots of the last few days, which have been a collage of extremes.

Slowly waking up, wondering why I’m at my folks’ place and why I’m surrounded by boxes. Realizing something bad has happened. Gradually remembering everything in pieces, cycling back to the very beginning. Reliving the entire relationship from beginning to end as I drift awake, sinking deeply into depression and nauseating despair by the time I’m conscious. I lie in bed and my stomach churns with the shock of what’s happened.

Then, forcing myself up in my queasiness to throw on some running clothes. Forcing myself downstairs and out the front door. Forcing my legs to start moving, anywhere. Feeling my feet pulling me along the pavement as my body moves forward in the still morning air, my mind churning with every memory, both good and bad. Pulling my mind out of the past, into the present, then…

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