I Know How to Stay Alive

The Outrageous HFB*

My husband and I were hunting caribou in the Arctic. The sun was relentless, the caribou were hunkered down in the relative shade and coolness of the braided riverbed. We laughed quietly as we sought them out. My chest waders were too noisy, so in the heat, I stripped down to my panties and a pair of Xtra-tuf rubber boots, my 30.06 strapped to my back. This, my husband thought, was amazing. We crossed several braids without any problems. We soon realized that the caribou were nowhere to be found. So we turned around. We had one more river braid to cross to get back to camp. We couldn’t find where we had crossed before. Each place that we tried to cross grew deep quickly. So we backed off. Finally we decided to cross the braid down lower, just above where it joined the rest of the river. My husband…

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